Ruby and Co react to stuff on disks!
by GrimmBear
Summary: Ruby and Co have been given a box of disks with mysterious, futures, worlds, and realities. involving them and a certain blonde knight. (Yes the title is literal and I'm bad at summaries)
1. She gets the Box

(suggestions and appreciated)

At team RWBYs room Ruby was playing with her scroll as she was going to beat the next level a knock from the door threw her off and she lost. "Dang it!" She yelled as she sighed and got up. She went over to the door and opened it. 'hello how may I….'

She was confused as she saw plushy looking bear in front of her holding a large box. He was sweating and looked around before shoving the box into her hands. "Watch these. And you did not see me here." Then he ran into JNPR's room

"Hey!" CRASH! The window was shattered and jaune looked out. "A giant bear stole my weapons!" He yelled as he ran out to chase after it. Ruby blinked as she slowly backed up into her room with the box. "…..Oookaay…" she contemplated in actually opening the box due to its, rather questionable owner. Then after giving up to the curiosity she then opened the box and blinked again as she saw the multiple other boxes inside. She took one out that said 'Forgotten Love'

-Outside-

"Guys I got it! Get those interdimensional cameras!" The bear said as he met up with a wacky group consisting of a bootleg mini Max with an orange jacket, a Batman with orange skin who's constantly smiling, a guy with a red mask and hood, and an infiltrator from battlefield 1. "alright let's get out of here!" The smallest said before Jaune came out. "give me back my weapon!" He yelled as they then disappeared. On the ground was a pot of honey. He sighed and walked back to beacon until he realized he was lost. "Oh, come on..." he noticed his sheath was on the floor and picked it up.

"This is going to take forever." He groaned before starting his journey back to beacon.

-RWBY's dorm-

Ruby looked at the disk out. "Is this some romantic movie?" she saw Lancaster on the side and then put it back. Maybe I should get the others first.

-later-

"So, Rubes what's this about a bear and a bunch of disks?" Yang asked as she looked at her sister. Ruby pulled out a paper. "Let's see uh… This box contains disks of different worlds and universe. Which are just alternate versions of your original world?" Yang quirked her eye skeptically as she took a random disk out before sticking it into the video player. "Uh Yang?" Ruby asked as she looked at her sister. "Hey, I'm just curious about this. Who knows could work as pass times?"

If only they knew what they and their other friends would be in for.


	2. Biggus Dickus?

**Yang and Ruby saw Jaune being dragged by two soldiers in front of Mercury who was wearing robes and the others wore armor. Jaune himself was wearing rags. **

"Wow looks like vomit boy got himself in a tight spot." Yang said as Ruby grew a bit worried about this jaune. "How come that Haven student is a king, I want to be a king." She pouted till ruby noticed the person leading them. "At least you're a general, I think.

**"****Hail Mercury." Mercury raised his hand before putting it down. "Hail." Cardin looked at Jaune. "Only one survivor sir." Mercury saw Jaune and smiled. "Ah. Throw him to the floor."**

"I'm sorry what?" The blonde said hearing Mercs accent. "He said throw him to the floor." Ruby reassured as she had strangely understood what he said. "I know it's just… the way he said it."

**"****What, sir?" Cardin asked as she looked at Mercury. "Throw him to the floor." He repeated as Cardin understood him. "ah." She nodded as Sun and Neptune threw jaune to the floor making him groan as his face met the hard surface.**

"Ouch." Ruby said as she heard the impact. "Hey look, its Sun and Neptune." Yang pointed out while chuckling a bit more at Mercury's accent.

**"****Now, what is your name, Mystrialian?" Jaune looked at Mercury. "Jaune, sir." He got on his knees. 'John, eh?" "No, it's uh Jaune." Cardin then slapped jaune. "OW!"**

"Oof seems a bit harsh." Yang said before she laughed at the small noise mercury made at the end. "Hey Yang, do you know when this was done?" Yang shrugged at Ruby's question. 'I don't know, could be like… a long time ago. They are wearing robes and metal armor."

**"****The little Rascal has spirit." Mercury spoke with his unintelligible accent as Cardin looked at him. "Has what, sir?" "Spirit." Cardin understood the second time. "Yes, he did, sir."**

"Is mercury the bad guy? Because I can't take him seriously with that accent." Yang snickered as she heard his voice, Ruby was a bit confused as she heard this. "I still don't get why it's funny."

**"****No, no, spirit. Bravado, a touch of derring-do." Mercury listed as Cardin didn't hear him right once more. "Oh about 11, sir." Mercury looked at Cardin for a moment then turned his attention to jaune. "So. You dare to Raid us?" Jaune was confused. "To what sir?" Mercury got mad and looked away. "Strike him, Winchester, very roughly." Cardin then backhanded jaune. "Agh!" **

"What a dick." Yang said as Ruby nodded. "Jerks." Yang still couldn't help but snicker and laugh as she heard Mercury's accent. "Good god that's hilarious."

**He then turned to Mercury. "And Throw him to the floor, sir?" He turned to Cardin while jaune nursed his cheek. "What?" "Throw him to the floor again, sir?" Mercury nodded. "Oh, yes. Throw him to the floor, please." Neptune and Sun nodded and picked up jaune only to throw him down. "AHH!" Mercury looked down at Jaune smugly. **

Yang didn't like how Cardin was treating Jaune badly for Mercury and beating jaune. "What a goon." Was all she said as Ruby nodded.

**"****Now, Mistralian rapscallion." Jaune looked up at him. "I'm not Mistralian, I'm a Vacuoan." Mercury looked at him wide eyed. "A vacuoan?" though jaune didn't understand his tone. "No, no a Vacuoan." Cardin then slapped Jaune again. "AHHH!"**

"That's it I'm tired of seeing him getting beaten." Yang said as she got the remote to fast-forward. "But Yang the plot!" Ruby said as she fought with yang over the remote before it unpaused.

**"****Really? What was his name?" Mercury asked Jaune as he answered. "Naughtius Arcitus." Cardin then let out a horse laugh.**

He wasn't the only one as Yang dropped the remote and began laughing as well. "Yang!" yang held her hand up. "I'm sorry. It's just... Bahahaha! It's so funny!" Ruby however didn't get it. "How is it so funny?!" The younger sister said while pouting.

**Mercury looked confused before he looked at Cardin. "Winchester, do you have anyone of that name in the garrison?" Cardin looked at him for a moment. "Well no sir." "Well, you sound very sure. Have you checked?" Cardin then reiterated. "Well, no, sir. I think it's a joke, sir. Like "Sillius Soddus" or "Biggus Dickus." Sir." He listed as a guard laughed a bit. **

Yang then busted out laughing as she heard that name and Ruby blushed a bit while snickering. "HAHAH! BIGGUS DICKUS!?" She kept laughing and wiped a tear away from her eye.

**"****Whats so funny about Biggus Dickus?" He said hearing the laugh. "Well. It's a joke name, sir." "I have a very great friend in Vacuo called Biggus Dickus." Then nearby Yang in a guard outfit holding a spear began laughing as Mercury walked over to her. "Silence! What is all this insolence?" Yang composed herself. "You will find yourself in gladiator school very quickly… with rotten behavior like that."**

The real yang was too busy laughing as she heard that mercury had a friend named Biggus Dickus. "Yang, I think the you there has the same way of thinking like you." She said bluntly to Yang as she stared and thought yang looked cool in the armor.

**"****Can I go now sir?" Jaune asked.**

"Heh I think I know whats going to happen.

**He then got slapped by Cardin. "AH!"**

"Bingo." Yang said as she couldn't help but smirk at the name while trying to keep calm.

**Mercury then went to Cardin. "Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this." The Yang started to laugh and snicker again as Cardin and Mercury looked at her. He then pointed at her. "Right! Take her away!" He ordered. "Sir, she-" "No, no, I want her fighting rabid wild grimm within a week!" Yang covered her face and kept laughing as Cardin went t her. "Yes, sir. Come on. You." She kept laughing loudly not caring about her punishment.**

"Hell yeah! Bring it on grey hair I can take any grimm aura or not." Yang boasted as Ruby sighed seeing her sister getting in trouble in the film.

**Jaune looked around as Mercury walked angrily. "I will not have my friends ridiculed by the common soldiery!" He then looked at the guards inside and walked to Neptune and Sun. "Anybody else feel like a little… giggle… when I mention my friend… Biggus.." Sun was starting to hold back a laugh as Mercury was in front of Neptune. "…Dickus?" Then Ruby in the back, wearing armor as well started laughing before stopping herself. **

"Oh, come on… not me too." Ruby said as she saw herself laughing. "Hey ruby, looks like the petal doesn't fall far from the rose huh?" Yang punned before Ruby just groaned loudly.

**Mercury walked over to her. "And what about you? Do you find it risible…" Ruby puckered her lips and shook her head. "…When I say the name…" Rubys smile formed as she knew what he was going to say but couldn't keep it together. "…Biggus…" His face was right next to hers as she strained to keep quiet. "…Dickus?" **

"Eww he's so close to my face." Ruby complained while chuckling at the reaction she made in the film. Yang was just on the edge of her seat seeing who else would fall prey to the joke.

**Then Neptune started to choke on his laugh as he tried to keep it in. Mercury looked at them and back to ruby before he heard Sun snickering. He slowly walked over, behind them. "He has a wife you know. You know what she's called?" The two shook their heads and stayed calm. "She's called…Incontinentia."**

"…. That's it? Lame." Yang said as ruby sighed. "I think it's a nice name."

**"****Inconinentia Buttocks." Then they blew up and began laughing. "Shut up!" Mercury yelled. Then Ruby began laughing loudly followed by the other guards. "What is all this? Ive had enough of this rowdy-rebel, sniggering behavior!"**

Yang held her stomach and kept laughing while Ruby covered her mouth and snickered into it as she started to laugh as well. "Buttcoks!? HAHHA!" Yang's laugh was heard through the halls and caught the attention of a pink themed girl and her friend.

**Jaune looked around before he started crawling away. "Silence! You call yourselves Vacouian guards?" Everyone but Mercury didn't notice jaune making his escape. "Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and Seize him!" He yelled as his words weren't heard over the guards laughing as Jaune made his escape.**

Nora came in. "Hey guys what are you laughing at?" Yang was rolling on the floor as she was laughing while Ruby was snickering and stood up. She then gave Nora the paper while Ren entered with tea. She gasped and grabbed Ren making him drop is tea. "Renny! We have to watch!" She yelled out as he groaned and then Ruby and Yang went over and brought over a couch as they sat down, and Nora picked up a random one to watch. "Oh, I'm so excited to see what's next!"


	3. Sir Arcselot!

The 4 huntresses and hunter in training saw a familiar sight of Nora on the screen. "Hey Renny! Look its me!" She said shaking her partner a bit.

Yang let out a laugh. "Yeah we can clearly see that Nora."

**Nora smirked and looked around. "You know what, I'm going to say this now. Anyone hiding right now." She held a thumbs up and smiled. "Totally gay."**

"Yeah! Cowards hide in the dark and sneak up on you!" Nora yelled as she then realized her partner was basically a ninja. "Except for you Ren." She said smiling nervously.

"Heh got yourself brownie points there Nora." Yang snarked as Ruby shh'd them so she could see why Nora on the screen said that.

**Then out of nowhere a bright yellow light appeared with a man in a full suit of white armor. "NOW HOLD ON THERE!" It sounded like Jaune and he was pissed.**

"WOAH! Jaune is looking badass." Yang said as Ruby nodded, he reminded her of a knight in her stories, especially since he wore full body armor.

"We should get Jaune full armor Ren!" Nora said as she saw how cool he was.

Ren nodded. "Though it could be hard to buy and maintain for him." They're leader wasn't the richest.

**"****Sir Arcselot?" Ruby said sweating a little as she saw the knight present. Behind her penny stood silently behind her. "I-Is that you?"**

"Aww look, you guys know each other." Yang teased as she bumped Ruby's shoulder. Ruby lightly glared at her sister with red dusting on her cheeks.

**"****NO." After a small moment of silence passed, he spoke again. "Yeah."**

"Well it's a good thing they do." Nora said laughing at jaunes response along with Yang.

**Ruby closed her eyes smiling a bit. "It's good to see your old friend but." She looked up at him. "Why would you materialize in the berserker class- "**

**"****FUCK YOU RUBY! IM SO DONE WITH YOUR FAIRY TALE FAGGOTERY!" He screamed as he looked down at her.**

"WOAH THERE!" Yang said as she covered Ruby's ears and glared at the tv. "That loses all approval!"

"Woah! I didn't know Jaune could be so foul mouthed! Right ren?" Nora asked very surprised that her leader was saying such things, to an apparent old friend as well.

**"****Sir Arcselot!?" **

**"****YOU AND YOUR MIRRORED POLISHED FAIRY TALE COCK!"**

**"****SIR ARCSELOT!?" **

**It closes on his helmet. "I can see my face in that shit!"**

"I'm a girl darns it!' Ruby pouted hearing that. "I-I mean what? Yang what's a cock?" She said trying to calm her sister. But it only made her cough hearing her younger sister say such a thing.

**Then suddenly near him Yang smirked and looked at him. "Hey Beserker, I bet I can Arcs a lot more than you." She punned.**

"Hah! That's t me pun him!" Yang cheered for herself while Ruby just groaned hearing that.

"Darn it Yang." She said while Nora and Ren were indifferent about the pun.

**Jaune deadpanned at the blonde. "That pun. Physically hurt me."**

"Ouch, my puns aren't that bad." Yang said in defense while Ruby gave Yang the blankest stare she could muster.

"Really Yang. Not that bad?" She repeated with Nora and Ren nodding, the pun wasn't that good."

**The Yang's face was close to the screen as she smirked. "Yah Mad?"**

**"****ALL THE TIME!" Jaune yelled as he looked at Mercury.**

"Oh hey look its mercury again." Ruby pointed out while Nora and Ren looked at her in confusion. "Oh right, he was in the last video we saw."

Yang recalled and started to choke up at the joke in the video. "Heh incontinentia buttocks." She mumbled chuckling while Nora and Ren were ever so clueless.

**…****..**

**"****WHAT FAGGOT!?" He screamed.**

"Damn Jaune has no chill in this one." Yang said as she heard him call the grey haired teen that.

"I know right! I kind of want him to talk like this." Nora said as she really wondered what kind of stuff he'd say to Cardin.

**"****Now that's just rude. Is what that is." Then the orbs of dust floating in the air moved. "Get em boys!"**

**Then Jaune started screaming as he grabbed the orb and threw it at the other as they were destroyed. "Aw well Fuu-" Mercury the disappeared in magical grey dust.**

"Did you guys hear that noise he made?" Yang said chuckling at hearing the fairy noise when mercury left. "Now that's funny." She said laughing as she slapped her knee, and Nora joined in with Ruby covering her mouth to stifle her laughs as well. Ren was still indifferent about it.

**Jaune then looked at ruby and yelled. "AND NOW FOR YOU RUBY!" He then drew his sword and screamed as he ran at ruby. Ruby let out her own awkward battle cry as he jumped into the air.**

"Well… Rubys dead."

"What!? No, I'm not!" Ruby yelled as she looked at Nora. She saw her other self about to fight jaune and hoped that wasn't the case.

**As their swords collided his sword glowed brightly and was covered in a bright metallic coat. "So that's his ability." Nora said looking at them with Ren next to her. "Whatever he grabs onto becomes metal as fuck."**

"Hey there's me again! And look ren your there too!" She cheered as she looked so wise in her own eyes. Ren saw himself and sweat dropped at how small he was compared to Nora in the video.

**"****NO, YOU PINK SHIT! CROCREA MORS IS WHATEVER I TOUCH!" He yelled looking at the Short woman.**

"Hey! Alright this guy is on the list!" Nora yelled as she heard Jaune insult her on screen counterpart.

"The list?" Ruby and Yang said as they were confused by what the Valkyrie meant.

Ren answered them. "Her list of people who get their legs broken."

"Oh." The sisters said before looking at Nora a little scared.

**"****Yeah my ideas better." Nora said as Jaune raged on. **

"Yeah it is!" Nora agreed with herself and found it funny how jaune got mad.

**"****WHEN I GRAB MY COCK, IT BECOMES CROCREA MORS! AND MY ABILITY BECOEMS FUCKING BITCHES AND CUNT SPLASHING!" **

**Then a mini ruby comes up with wide eyes. "SIR ARCSELOT!?" She yelled in a cringy voice. **

"Gah! Why is he saying things like this!?" Ruby yelled as she covered her hood with her face became as red as her namesake.

Yang knew It was too late to cover Ruby's ears, then her cheeks had a red hue on them from hearing what his 'Abilities were'.

**He looked at her. "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS THOUGH YOU'VE SEEN IT!"**

NO! No, I haven't!" Ruby yelled blushing madly as Yang and the others looked at her oddly. "I mean of course I haven't. other me might've but uh… ill stop talking now."

**Then Nora started laughing as her body was surrounded by electricity. "HAHAHAHAHAHAA….. Dick." As 2 large Ursai's appeared in front of a chariot that Nora was on.**

"WOAH!" Nora saw the grimm she was on and had stars in her eyes. "I have a cool ability!" She saw the Ursai and gasped as she looked to ren. "Can i-"

"No," Ren answered knowing that his partner would want to do what alternate her was doing.

"Aww."

**"****Oh fun." Jaune said before he started screaming as the Chariot ran him over. "FUCK! DAMN IT! FUCKER HAIRY ASSHOLES! DAMN! SHITBALLS! CUUUUNT!" He yelled as he rolled around and panted as he got on all fours bruised and his armor dented. **

"HAH! That's what you get you foul mouthed insulter!" Nora said as she stood up in awe seeing her alternate versions battle beasts lay waste to the arc in the screen.

Ruby covered her mouth and cringed hearing each swear and seeing an alternate version of her friend being ran over by two Ursai. "ouch." She said seeing his body after they finished.

"Serves him right, no one does anything like that to my sis, no matter the video." Yang said protectively while cringing a little seeing the aftermath. She didn't hate jaune, she just didn't like this version of him.

**Nora looked at him as he groaned and struggled to get up. He looked up and groaned in pain before he threw up and disappeared.**

"…. Well that was a thing." Was all Yang said as they saw their friend disappearing.

**Nora then put her hands up. "I DID A THING! FAREWELL MY NEW FRIENDS NEXT TIME I'LL BUY THE DRINKS!" She then let out a strange funny war cry as her chariot flew into the air with Ren struggling to hold on. **

"…. I am a badass!" Nora said as she was hyped to see herself in the video as it ended. "I mean did you see what I did with those Grimm! it was so cool!"

The others had to agree with her on that, Yang and Ruby couldn't deny how cool Nora or Jaune were in the video, despite one being a complete ass. "I'm just glad that's over now." Ruby said huffing a bit from all the profanities that came from her usually nice and kind friend.

"Well… Want to watch another video?" Yang asked as she didn't want to mention the video they just saw much, mostly due to how Jaune was portrayed with her sister.

Then the door was opened and the four looked and saw a familiar white haired ice queen. "Hey!" She yelled as she looked at them. "What's going on here?" She said crossing her arms while the four warriors in training were looking at each other then back at the schnee.

"Well… It's a long story." Ruby said walking over to her partner.


End file.
